Day 6: Sucks (or so I thought)

It figures I would jinx myself. It all started out with a post on my friend Kyle's facebook page. He congratulated me on doing well so far, and I made a funny little joke back saying that Day 6 was always the hardest, so I better watch out. Of course, at the time, I was kidding. But as it turns out, Day 6 almost broke the streak.

First, let me back up. Some of you might be wondering - how in the hell is it Day 6 when Monday was Day 1?? Well, technically Monday was Day 3 since I started my first day walking on New Years Day. But for the sake of starting the blog up again I said that my first post back was Day 1. What can I say - I love the drama.

But back to Day 6. Like I said, it all started as a joke that turned bad. I could not get out of bed this morning. And I don't mean, "Oh, woe is me. I'm still sleepy". No. It was, "F you alarm! I'm not getting up!!". Not only did I not get up for my walk this morning, I was late to work because I overslept. But, I knew I still had yoga tonight, so that made it okay.

Then the day got super busy. Freaking work man - always getting in the way. (When did I start channeling The Big Lebowski??) Anyway, by the end of the day I really didn't want to go to yoga. And you know that's bad because I actually really enjoy yoga. Especially the yoga where we get to lay on the ground at the end and just relax, which is what this yoga was. And I still couldn't get myself to go. I was drowning in a sea of lazy-assness, but luckily I was told to get my ass up and go.

I never really found the buddy system of working out to work for me, mostly for two reasons. One - I'm pretty competitive, even over stupid stuff like who's going the fastest on the spin bike (which is never me FYI) and two - I get really self-conscious that I'm going to look stupid or embarrass myself. Which I know is dumb because I've embarrassed myself way more in front of my friends out and about than I ever could at the gym (it's called the Shandygaff dance floor), but it's still how I feel.

But if it hadn't been for my friends today convincing me to get my ass to the gym at 4:55pm, I don't think I would have gone. I'm pretty sure I would have gone home, laid on the couch, and then beat myself up over not going because that's what I used to do. But now it feels like I accomplished something. Like this was my first hurdle, and it was my friends that got me over it. It's a really amazing feeling. So if any of them are reading this right now - thank you. And if you ever need some motivation to workout, I'll be there. =0)

~Catie

Let's try this again (aka Day 1 Redux)

Um, yeah. I really don't have anything to say. I could give you lots of excuses (I hurt my knee! I got really busy!) but at the end of the day I got lazy and gave up. Like I have many times before when I've tried to start a workout plan. And the way I see it, there are two ways I can look at the situation:

1) I can kick myself, get down, and just wallow in the fact that I "failed" once again

or...

2) I can look at what when wrong, as well as what went right, and try learn from it

I think I'm going to take option 2.

I read through some of my previous blog posts from last year, and it's cheesy to say, but me back then was inspiring! Which leads me to ask, "What the hell happened??" Seriously! I was so ready to go this time last year I could have convinced Sarah Palin to vote for Obama. That's how motivated I was. And it actually lasted for a few months, which I am pretty proud of since it's probably the longest a workout plan has lasted for me. And a lot of it had to do with this blog - I felt like I had to post, which kept me going to workout.

But I soon realized that it wasn't the best plan. I couldn't have the blog be my sole motivation; it had to come from me. But somehow it all blended together, and I started to feel obligated to the blog. I got annoyed with the forced need to write, and I took it out on my workouts. Which, looking back on it, was really stupid because the only person I was hurting was me. It's not like anyone reading this would be mad if I didn't post every day! Everyone knows what it's like to be busy, and when things start to become an obligation they become very difficult to do. At least for me, at this point in my life.

I want working out to be something I actually enjoy, which is something I've never really experienced. It's fun for a time, but it's not something I really look forward to. And, to be honest, I'm not really sure what to do. Do I only do workouts that I really like, and risk it becoming boring after a time, or do I force myself to do workouts that I don't really like, but I know will be good in the long run? Is there a happy medium? If there is, I'm still looking for it (and if you know, please share your secrets!!).

So, here's the deal. I'm now 27 years old - not getting any younger as they say. I currently weigh 155 pounds. Boom. There it is. For the whole webiverse to see. But, the number doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that I get winded and tired easily, and that it's only going to get harder to get healthier the older I get. So, as many have done before and will do after, my resolution is to get healthier.

My goal is to gain muscle, lose some inches, and just feel healthier. I could keep track of my weight, but gaining muscle gains weight, so that seems counterintuitive seeing as how I want to gain muscle. So I am going to judge it on how I look in the mirror, how my clothes fit, and my energy level.

Right now my plan is to walk 30 minutes every day on the treadmill. We have a treadmill in our basement, which is a huge help, and I hope to walk every morning before work. Why then? Well, because I know myself, and I will come up with every excuse in the book to not work out when I get home from work. Never fail. So I'm not giving myself the chance. At this point in the game, I don't trust myself to do what's best for me after a whole day of work, so I have to get it out of the way early, or else it won't work.

I'm also going to try and experiment with different workouts, similar to what I did last time around. Difference is, I will have already walked in the morning for 30 minutes, so if something is a bust I still worked out. I don't have to get down because I didn't get a great workout if I already walked in the morning, but I still have the chance to find some workouts I really like. Today will be the first try with a ballet-pilates hybrid class I'm taking after work. I'll let you know how it goes!

So, there it is. Catie Gets Healthy Part 2. I don't know what the future holds for me and getting healthy, but I have hope for this plan. And at this point, hope is the best motivator.

~Catie

Day 106 - Regret, Reflect, and Restart

I wish I could say that I've been kicking ass, and just not writing this blog because I've been so busy working out, but I can't. I haven't given up completely - I still work out 3 or 4 days a week. The problem is I'm in a rut. The classes I used to take (Lift and Sculpt, Spinning, Yoga) are starting to feel routine and boring. That's why I've started working out at home more, but I feel like I'm not getting the same workout. I not working out for nearly as long, and definitely not at same level of exhaustion. I take that back. During some workouts - like interval sprinting on the treadmill - I'm beat after 30 minutes. But I used to be beat after Spinning, and that lasted for 50 minutes.

So now, I work out 3 days a week, but it's for a total of 90 minutes instead of close to 200. And that makes a big difference. This is why I can't be surprised that after over 100 days, I'm in the same place I was after 70 days. When, in reality, if I had been pushing myself like I told myself I would, who knows where I'd be or what changes I'd see in myself.

This isn't the first time I've done this, and I wish I knew why I did these things. I get super excited about something in the beginning - working out, embroidery, baking - and it almost becomes an obsession. But then, inevitably, I start to get bored with it, and make excuses as to why I'm not into anymore, and then forget about it and move on. But I don't want to do that with working out. And the rational side of me knows that, and screams at me to not let it happen, but yet for the past month it has. At least I haven't completely stopped, but if I'm being honest with myself I've only been going at 50%.

Has this ever happened to anyone else? How do you get past it? Maybe I just need to change up my workouts ever few months so that I stay excited with it. Or maybe I just need to suck it up and realize that I may not always enjoy working out, but it necessary and I need to stop bitching. I think it's a combination of the 2, with an emphasis on the personal ass kicking. I just feel so tired of my bullshit. I can pay lip service until I'm blue in the face, but when push comes to shove I quit. Or I half ass it. And I don't want to anymore, but I don't know what to do.

So here is my plan. Knowing what I know about myself, I realize that it may not be realistic to work out for an hour a day, 6 days a week. Right now that is. Would I like to work up to that? Hell yeah! But you know what I can do right now? 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week. 30 minutes of cardio - walking, jogging, whatever it might be, but 30 minutes 5 days a week. And I know that I want to work strength training in there as well, 2 days a week to start.

Now you might be thinking that this sounds crazy, and I'm once again setting myself up to fail because this requires me to do something every day. But this plan is flexible. Lets say I'm going out after work one day. So I take what I'm supposed to do that day and add it to a day that I'm doing strength training, or vice versa. But I am purposely making this tough on me, so I can prove to myself that I can do it. And really, what's 30 minutes a day? NOTHING. And once I get into that routine, let's say 1 month from now (Day 136), I'll bump it up to 45 minutes a day. By then the routine will be set (hopefully) and I'll just bump up the amount of time.

I really think I can do this. I mean, I don't have a choice do I? If I don't I'll just keep coasting along, doing the minimum, and then feeling down that I'm not improving. Well no shit Sherlock! If you put in the minimum you get out the minimum. Sure, I've got more muscle definition, and my endurance is more than it was back in January, but there's still fat there. I'm still not as healthy as I want to be. So it's now or never. If I don't step it up I might as well stop altogether, because there's no point otherwise.

So, that's where I am right now. I'm restarting my quest to get healthy - 106 days in. Better now than never, right?

~Catie

Day 81 - A Date with a Treadmill

I was beat today, which is why I jumped at the chance to go to the movies with my husband right after work. Nothing like a good comedy (we went to see Date Night - really funny!) to make you feel better, right? What made me feel even better was that I didn't use the movies as an excuse to not work out, even though I really wanted to.

Luckily I specifically told Andy to not let me use it as an excuse. What can I say? I know myself and know that if I went to the movies at 5, by the time I got home at 7 I'd be tired and would still have to make dinner, get ready for bed, yada yada yada. Same excuse different day. But instead, I got home, changed into my workout clothes, grabbed my iPod, and went to the basement. No sitting on the couch, no turning on the laptop, nothing. Like I said, I know myself and I know my excuses.

I found a cardio workout on Self Magazine's website, and I was excited to try it for 2 reasons. 1) It was intervals, which I really enjoy because I think it makes the time go faster, and 2) it was only 25 minutes long because it was pretty intense. The workout consisted of a warm up for a few minutes, and then sprint for 30 seconds, recover for 90 seconds, repeat, for 25 minutes. I actually continued the cool down for an additional 5 minutes because my heart was still beating pretty fast by the end of the 25 minutes. But I figured that would happen - I mean, when's the last time I sprinted for any amount of time at 8mph? I can tell you - NEVER. But I felt really rejuvenated after the workout, which sounds kind of strange since it wore me out so much, but I really did have a lot of energy after.

Maybe it was the sense of accomplishment of not using the movies as an excuse, or trying something new, or even doing cardio for the first time since being sick. I think it was a combination of all 3, but regardless of what is was, the result was the same - I felt great. And that's reason enough to keep it up. Til tomorrow!

~Catie

Minutes spent working out so far this week: 90

Healthy dinners I've cooked so far this week: 3

Day 79 - Don't Call It a Comeback!

Hello? Anyone still out there? It's me, Catie. You know, the woman trying to get healthy? Just incase you forgot, since it's been 2 weeks since I last posted anything. Ugh. I'm sorry. I wish I could say I was doing something super fun - like vacationing in the Caribbean or something, but I wasn't. I was sick. Again. At first I thought it was allergies that started kicking my ass early last week, but then I got laryngitis. Good times! And I still have a wicked cough and stuffy head, but at least I was finally able to work out last night for the first time in over a week and a half. And it felt great! (Imagine Tony the Tiger's voice here - it made me laugh).

Anyway, I think it did my body some good taking a break from working out - and not because I couldn't breathe last week and probably would have passed out if I even attempted to do anything active - but because I was able to really see my improvement over the past 11 weeks or so. Normally taking a week and a half off would have derailed me, but there I was in Lift and Sculpt yesterday like it was part of my routine. Because it is now. It's right there with getting up and going to work.

Also, normally taking off that much time would have set me back a lot. And don't get me wrong - I am freaking SORE today - but that happens after every lift and sculpt. What I realized though was that I didn't lose any of my strength. I was still able to lift what I was before I got sick, which was a great feeling. I'm not going to use that as an excuse to take another long break if I can help it, but still - it was nice to know that I wasn't back at square one. Of course I haven't had spinning yet, so we'll see how that goes.

I am starting to get frustrated about getting sick so often though. It was less than a month ago that I had a sinus infection, and now this? I thought working out was supposed to help you from getting sick! But I'm finding out that what you eat is just as important as working out. And I realized something yesterday in the shower - I'm not 18 anymore. I'm going to be 27 in September, and it's about time that I realized that I can't just eat whatever I want, and justify it by working out. I need to exercise and eat better if I'm going to start to feel better - both physically and emotionally.

Of course, that's easier said than done isn't it? But looking back, I said the same thing about working out and now it's a part of my schedule. I just have to use that same motivation - and this blog - to get me out of my food comfort zone and trying new things. Will I like them all? Of course not. But at least I can try, and maybe even learn something about myself. Couldn't hurt, right? Til tomorrow!

~Catie

Minutes spent working out so far this week: 60

Healthy dinners I've cooked so far this week: 1

Day 64 - Workout Block

First, let me apologize for not keeping up with the blog over the past week. Some of it was real life getting in the way, some of it was laziness, and some of it was - for lack of a better term - writer's block. Now you may be wondering how I could have writer's block since I'm writing about my life, but I did. I can't tell you why either because I worked out 3 days last week, but nothing seemed interesting enough to write about. Nothing was new - no new challenges, no new epiphanies. It was just a regular week. And there's nothing wrong with that, it just doesn't make for a very interesting blog! So I tried to deal with my writer's block by figuring out the cause.

I came to the conclusion that hitting a weight-loss plateau is the equivalent of writer's block in the fitness world. I mean, think about it. You literally hit a wall when you can't loose any more weight, just like you hit a wall when writing. And it's always the last 5 or 10 pounds or so, isn't it? When you're so close to reaching your goal but it's still out of reach. I'm not a writer, so I don't know if that's what happens with writer's block, but I can imagine the frustration is the same regardless of when in the process it happens, or what the activity is.

To be honest, I'm not sure if I've hit a plateau or not in my get healthy plan, because I'm not keeping track of my weight. Well...that's not entirely true. I mean, there's a scale in the locker room at the gym, right by the sinks, and it calls my name every time I'm there! And I gave in last week. I stepped on the scale, and at first I did not like what I saw. I was still 155 pounds! Still the same weight as I was 2 months ago! How was that possible?? I've been working out for a least 3 hours every week for the past 9 weeks, and still weighed the same.

But the more I thought about it, the more okay I was with being the same weight. Why? Because like I said when I started this whole thing, it's not about the number, it's about how I feel. It's about reaching my goals, and getting healthier. So I decided to see if I had reached one of my goals - my goals pants. You remember those, right? The one size too small, gray skinny jeans I bought a few weeks back. Well I decided to try them on, and guess what? THEY FIT!! They actually fit, and not in a sausage squeezed too tight into it's casing kind of way, but in a "wow these are actually my size" way!

And in that moment I realized I did not care what the damn scale said. In fact, that scale can kiss my gray, skinny jean clad ass. Because I reached a goal - the first of many. And no piece of electronics is going to make me feel bad about myself, with some random digital number it spits out. That's supposed to define me? I don't think so. Not anymore anyway. Til tomorrow!

~Catie

Minutes spent working out this week: 60

Day 57 - What a Difference a Week Makes

Wow. That's all I have to say. I'm not sure if it was the week off from working out, being sick, not getting enough sleep - probably some combination of the three - but I was struggling today. Really struggling. We were doing squats and lunges, and I was getting light-headed. It was frustrating too because my muscles could take more, but I just couldn't. But I guess that's my body's way of telling me to slow down. Sometimes I just have a problem listening to what my body's telling me.

I have that happen a lot when I'm working out, which is funny because I have NO problem listening when my body tells me I feel sick, or hungry, or I'm tired and need to go to bed. But for some reason when I start working out, it's almost like I'm determined to get everything possible out of the time I'm putting in, so I push myself. That then leads to me getting lightheaded or getting my heart rate up too high, and then I feel crappy. But if I just looked at it rationally - Hey! You're going to hard. Slow down crazy lady! - then I wouldn't have this problem. But hindsight's 20/20 I guess.

It's hard to find a balance between going to hard, and just doing enough to get by, isn't it? I think that's part of my problem. I'm putting in my hour, so I feel like I have to go as hard as possible for that hour because if I don't then I'm not putting in my full effort. But it's not healthy to do that. And I recognize that - when I'm not working out. A lot of my problems stem from my perception of what I'm supposed to be doing, or how hard I'm supposed to be going, instead of just letting it happen. And letting it happen doesn't mean going easy on myself - I came to the realization yesterday that that's not an option. But I have to listen to myself, and maybe push a little bit more when I know I'm just trying to give up, but slow down when I know I'm going to0 hard. Now if I can just recognize when that happens. Til tomorrow!

~Catie

Minutes spent working out so far this week: 60